Omelette du Fromage

The pan was sizzling hot before the butter even touched it. The cold pat of butter melted on contact and spread itself across the surface of it, lubricating it. Beside the pan sat the egg. There was already a crack in it, oozing its liquid insides out onto its smooth white shell.

"I didn't think I'd get through to you," said the block of swiss cheese to the egg, "I thought you said you'd never crack."

"You made it hard not to," the egg admitted. The slight fracture in its shell continued to drip clear fluid as the cheese stared. The egg didn't seem to mind.


They'd been dancing around the topic. The egg understood what it meant when the cheese arrived to the fridge. As if intuitively, the cheese understood, too.

"I'm swiss cheese," it introduced itself, "nice to meet you."

"I'm egg." The egg replied, rolling itself in its container so it wasn't facing the cheese.

"We're neighbors now, we should get along!" The cheese insisted.

The egg didn't say anything, even as the cheese somehow slid itself closer to where it sat.

The cheese spoke again, in just a breathy whisper.

"I'm really good in eggs."


The egg was plucked from its place in the carton. The pre-made leaking slit in the shell was toyed with, then gently cracked with a finger until all that was left of the egg spilled forth. The egg was nothing but a mess of goo, without even a fragment of its shell to hide behind. The bowl was cold and too big for just the egg to feel comfortable in. It was the most exposed it had ever felt. Now that the egg had a moment to collect itself, it found the cheese staring back at it. The swiss cheese had watched it all happen, gaze unbreaking on the now shell-less egg.

"You look beautiful." Said the cheese.


"What do you mean you're good in eggs?"

"I mean what I said," the cheese laughed, "I'm really good in eggs. Don't worry, I'll be gentle with you when the time comes."

"You won't have to be," the egg scoffed, "I won't crack."

"Are you sure?" Said the swiss cheese. "I'm semi-hard."

"I'm sure."


A cold splash of milk was added to the egg. It didn't have time to react to the sensation before it was stirred into a frenzy. The rich, deep yellow yolk breaking and bleeding into the white until it became one creamy, homogenous mixture.

Then, before it could even recover from what happened, it was slowly tilted into the hot pan. Its reaction to the temperature shift was instant and unintentional.

"Ah!" The egg hissed.

"Are you okay?" The cheese asked, clearly concerned. Now that it was in the pan, the cheese could no longer see the egg as well as it could before.

"Yes," the egg replied, comforted by the cheese's worry over it. The egg spread itself out over the hot surface and tried to relax into it, "I was just... startled. I knew it would be hot, but I didn't think it would be this hot."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Will you join me soon?"

"Soon. I'm not ready yet. Can you see me from there, egg?"

"No."

"I'll make a lot of noise for you. I want you to at least hear me."


"You don't seem like you want to open up."

"That's because I don't. What's it matter to you, anyway?"

"Like I said, I know we'd be good together. And I know you know it, too, even if you won't admit it. Can't you feel it? The tension between us?"

"No." The egg denied, but neither of them believed it. "I don't feel anything."

"You seem tense," the cheese continued, unheeding of the egg, "if I told you more about myself, would it help you relax?"

The egg had to admit, it was curious. "Like what?"

"What do you want to know?"


The swiss cheese was slowly peeled out of its sleeve, exposing it to the air for the first time. Then, it was taken to a grater.

The swiss was vigorously rubbed up and down across the perforated surface. The way the metal scraped against it was too much for it to bear, and it came apart on the holes with a cry. The cheese made sure it was loud enough for the egg to hear, even with the distance between them.

While the cheese was shredded, the egg in the pan continued to cook, growing thick and firm and hot to the touch.

"I'm ready for you," the egg called out, "are you ready for me?"

"I think so," said the cheese, its original firm body reduced to a sloppy pile on the plate where it lay, "I'm almost there!"


The egg didn't take the bait, and the two sat in silence for a long time. The only sound was the constant background hum of the refrigerator.

Finally, the cheese couldn't stand it any longer. It spoke again. Quiet. Subdued.

"Are you scared, egg?"

"Scared?" The egg scoffed defensively. "Why would I be scared?"

"I have all these holes in me. I'm open by design." The swiss cheese explained. "But you... you have that tough exterior that hides all your mushy, messy insides. And once you're open... you can't close up again. By opening yourself up to me, you have everything to lose. Which is why I think you might be scared."

It didn't deny. Instead, it rolled so it was facing the cheese. "And you're not?"

"Me?"

The cheese replied honestly, it owed the egg that much.

"A little."


The shredded swiss cheese was spread across the entirety of the egg, smothering the egg beneath it.

"This wasn't what I pictured when you said you'd be gentle with me." The egg chuckled teasingly. "What happened to being semi-hard?"

The cheese was embarrassed even as it continued to melt into the warm embrace of the egg. "Shut up."

"I'm glad you're here."

"So am I."


"I'm scared, yeah. We'll both break, and we'll both change. That's a scary thing."

"And you still want to go through with it?"

"I do." The cheese didn't even need to think about it. "It's scary, but it's also exciting. Separately, we're just ingredients. But together..."


The swiss cheese was melted to the point it was entirely inseparable from the egg. The heat under the pan was turned off, but they were still cooking in the residual heat.

Without warning, the cheese was completely enveloped in the hot embrace of the egg, causing the cheese to fold over onto itself and leak its material as they were transferred to a plate.

"You're messier than I expected." Said the egg.

"You mean we're messier than you expected," the cheese corrected, "we're together now. We can't be split apart."

"Good." The egg replied, reveling in the surprising softness of the melted cheese inside of it. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


"...we're delicious."




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